4:44 lyrics - Jay-Z

Do I find it so hard

When I know in my heart

I'm letting you down every day

Letting you down every day

Why do I keep on running away?

Look, I apologize, often womanize

Took for my child to be born, see through a woman's eyes

Took for these natural twins to believe in miracles

Took me too long for this song, I don't deserve you

I harassed you out in Paris

"Please come back to Rome, you make it home"

We talked for hours when you were on tour

"Please pick up the phone, pick up the phone!"

I said "Don't embarrass me" instead of "Be mine"

That was my proposal for us to go steady

That was your 21st birthday

You matured faster than me, I wasn't ready

So I apologize

I seen the innocence leave your eyes

I still mourn its death and

I apologize for all the stillborns

'Cause I wasn't present, your body wouldn't accept it

I apologize to all the women whom I toyed with your emotions

'Cause I was emotionless

And I apologize 'cause at your best, you are love

And because I fall short of what I say I'm all about

Your eyes leave with the soul that your body once housed

And you stare blankly into space

Thinking of all the time, you wasted it on all this basic shit

So I apologize

I'm never gonna treat you

I'm never gonna treat you like I should

Oh

I apologize

Our love was one for the ages and I contained us

And all this ratchet shit and we more expansive

Not meant to cry and die alone in these mansions

Or sleep with our back turned

We supposed to vacay 'til our backs burn

We're supposed to laugh 'til our heart stops

And then meet in a space where the dark stop

And let love light the way

Like the men before me, I cut off my nose to spite my face

I never wanted another woman to know

Something about me that you didn't know

I promised, I cried, I couldn't hold

I suck at love, I think I need a do-over

I will be emotionally available if I invited you over

I stew over; "What if—"

"You over my shit?"

I'm never gonna treat you

I'm never gonna treat you like I should

Oh

And if my children knew

I don't even know what I would do

If they ain't look at me the same

I would prob'ly die with all the shame

"You did what with who?"

What good is a ménage à trois when you have a soulmate?

"You risked that for Blue?"

If I wasn't a superhero in your face

My heart breaks for the day I have to explain my mistakes

And the mask goes away

And Santa Claus is fake

And you go online and see

For Blue's tooth, the tooth fairy didn't pay

I'm never gonna treat you like I should